New Galway water alert

For the second time in less that eighteen months Galway’s water supply could be contaminated. Taoiseach Brian Cowen has conceded that this is a deliberate Government policy.

‘Basically, we didn’t want another Cork on our hands. Galway has been getting a little too confident recently, particularly with its Arts Festival going from strength to strength. Cork is unbearable, and we can’t have that replicated in another part of the country.’

‘Last year, we let the cryptosporidium parasite loose. This year we’re warning people of lead poisoning, so it’s subtler. You don’t know for sure whether you should be on your guard. Is it okay to brush my teeth or not? And of course, boiling water won’t remove lead. Locals simply have to ask themselves that age old question: do I feel lucky?’

‘If we’re still concerned about the city's confidence levels after this people can expect a bout of E coli in the next six to twelve months.’