Lenihan finds way out

The Government has found a way out of the current economic crises. It has lodged a compensation claim with the British Government for €330 billion.

This follows the Italian agreement to pay Libya €2.5 billion compensation for its thirty year occupation of the North African nation. ‘It is a material and emotional recognition of the mistakes that our country has done to yours during the colonial era,’ Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi told Muammar Gadafy.

‘When Brian heard this he had something of a Eureka moment,’ said Enterprise Minister Micheál Martin.

The sum has been calculated by the Department Finance and is seen as a generous understatement of our case.

‘We know Britain isn’t exactly teeming with money at the moment,’ said Mr Lenihan last night. ‘But the Libyan case sets a precedent and we’re willing to take this to Strasbourg. We have multiplied the sum in recognition of the longer period of occupation suffered by this country but we are only asking the British Government to compensate for four hundred years of oppression as opposed to the traditional eight.’