Hadith with them

This afternoon saw share prices again fall sharply on the trading floors of the New York Stock Market.

‘But it’s an ill wind that blows no good,’ said Taliban leader, Mullah Muhammad Omar.

Addressing followers during the holy day of Id al-Fitr, which marks the end of Ramadan, Mr Omar told followers that the heroin trade was booming once more, a business that sends $100 million a year into the Taliban’s coffers. This should speed up decentralisation by destabilising the Kabul administration and giving power back to local warlords.

The Afghan warlords and drug barons have stressed the importance of education. Significant sums have been pledged for local madrasas which have tirelessly fought against underfunding to promote the rote learning of sacred texts, as well as the study of Islamic jurisprudence, Islamic history, Islamic home economics and Islamic maths.

It is hoped to further increase funding to this area, to provide for children with Islamic learning disorders and give pupils the option of exchange programmes to Indonesia and Pakistan. By 2012 Mr Omar hopes to introduce universal free circumcision for girls, which ‘helps stabilize their libido.’

United States intelligence has been frustrated by the ‘rampant corruption’ of its puppet government, led by Hamid Karzai, since it was first brought to power in December 2001.

The poppy trade counts for at least 50% of Afghanistan’s economy.