Cithóg President

Supporters of Barack Obama around the world are in utter shock this evening, as photographs emerge of the new president signing off in his first orders of business – using his left hand.

‘Utterly betrayed’ was how one supporter put it. ‘This was not the kind of change I had in mind,’ said another.

Obama to wear poignant aftershave

Barack Obama is to wear the favourite aftershave of his predecessor, Abraham Lincoln, when he delivers his inauguration address tomorrow, aides revealed.

The lotion, which has not been produced since 1887, has been prepared specially for the occasion by Proctor & Gamble, which owns the Old Spice label currently worn by Mr Obama.

Change

'He has successfully projected a rhetoric of change as a function of greater coherence and managerial efficiency, rather than as a means of much more radical departures from established policies.

…regeneration the US infrastructure, health and educational systems have caught the popular mood...

It has been a brilliant campaign, which has marshalled the energy of a new generation...if he can deliver he would provide a stimulus for a world which seems to have reached a policy impasse on how to escape from recession or prevent it turning into depression.

- Irish Times on the election of Bill Clinton, 3 November 1992

Obama concedes victory

'Ain't no mountain high, ain't no valley low, ain't no river wide enough, to keep change from coming,' an emotional president-elect told his ecstatic Chicago audience last night.

'There is no wind, there is no rain.' he continued. 'Our love is alive. Way down in our hearts although each change is miles apart. If any friend ever needs a helping hand we’ll be there on the double. As fast as we can. There ain't no mountain high enough to keep me from getting to you.'

The 47-year old first-time Senator, who has a penchant for lists, went on:

'Young and old, rich and poor, happy and sad, tired and emotional, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Jewish, Quaker, Native American, descendents of Aztecs, gay, straight, transexual, the severly, moderately and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be the United States of America.'

Listeners went wild at the prospect of the United States of America always being the United States of America.

'No doubt some of you are wondering: where will I invade? What will be my Vietnam, Afghanistan, my Iraq? Where will I intervene? El Salvador, Nicaragua, Serbia? Who will be my Pinochet, my Marcos, my Hamid Karzai?

Let me tell you. I will not mess up the presidency like LBJ, Nixon, Clinton and Bush. I will not continue unpopular wars or tap phones. I will not fornicate with interns. I will not send the proceeds of covert arms sales to guerrillas in Central America. I will not run up a deficit like Reagan. And I will not be forgettable like Ford, Carter and Bush Senior.

John McCain and I fought a hard battle. Turned out he fought like Michael Dukakis. But no more of that. The true victor is Change. Cambio. Wechsel. It's been a long time coming. But now, together, we're gonna make a Bureau de Change out of the White House.

The Day in Photos

Terrorists? she said. You should check upstairs. And by the way guys, you're doing a great job here. Can I just say that?

Marv and Dave just weren't sure what to make of these people any more.




‘The superglued dentures smile. Works every time,’ thought Mc Cain.




‘One clap and he winks. Two claps and he invades Iraq. Let’s crank it up,’ thought Dick Cheney. ‘Let’s see what happens with three claps.’



Initially, it had been the kiss of life for the McCain campaign.




'Don’t get me started on Air Force One. I'm going bring so much change with that baby.'

With that, the Illinois Senator made a whoosing noise to illustrate the speed and sound of change.



Designer Natasha Glazkova embraces burka chic, empowering women in the process.




The Celtic Tiger awoke, startled. Three months had passed since it could remember anything. Where am I? it thought.

Obama's recession

‘What recession?’ said Barack Obama.

The Illinois Senator raised $66 million in August. More than one-third of the total $458 million raised by his campaign has come from supporters who donated $200 or less.