Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Obama concedes victory



'Ain't no mountain high, ain't no valley low, ain't no river wide enough, to keep change from coming,' an emotional president-elect told his ecstatic Chicago audience last night.

'There is no wind, there is no rain.' he continued. 'Our love is alive. Way down in our hearts although each change is miles apart. If any friend ever needs a helping hand we’ll be there on the double. As fast as we can. There ain't no mountain high enough to keep me from getting to you.'

The 47-year old first-time Senator, who has a penchant for lists, went on:

'Young and old, rich and poor, happy and sad, tired and emotional, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Jewish, Quaker, Native American, descendents of Aztecs, gay, straight, transexual, the severly, moderately and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be the United States of America.'

Listeners went wild at the prospect of the United States of America always being the United States of America.

'No doubt some of you are wondering: where will I invade? What will be my Vietnam, Afghanistan, my Iraq? Where will I intervene? El Salvador, Nicaragua, Serbia? Who will be my Pinochet, my Marcos, my Hamid Karzai?

Let me tell you. I will not mess up the presidency like LBJ, Nixon, Clinton and Bush. I will not continue unpopular wars or tap phones. I will not fornicate with interns. I will not send the proceeds of covert arms sales to guerrillas in Central America. I will not run up a deficit like Reagan. And I will not be forgettable like Ford, Carter and Bush Senior.

John McCain and I fought a hard battle. Turned out he fought like Michael Dukakis. But no more of that. The true victor is Change. Cambio. Wechsel. It's been a long time coming. But now, together, we're gonna make a Bureau de Change out of the White House.

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