World Bank i-Moon

African countries are lagging behind the targets we set them, UN secretary general Ban Ki-moon warned yesterday.

‘Developed countries pledged to half global poverty by 2015 – and I don’t see that happening.’

Mr Ban urged developed countries to spend €48.7 million a year extra to help African leaders meet our goals.

‘Pulling millions out of extreme poverty in Africa looks like good value, Mr Ban said, when you think that people paid €89 million for a few Hirsts. Heck, it'd cost more to buy Aston Villa.'

The Zimbab way

World leaders yesterday reacted with ‘cautious optimism’ to the news that Zimbabwe is on the brink of a powersharing deal.

The deal would see an old dictator concede some power to an untested man, and has been brokered by a 66 year old African leader who doesn’t believe in Aids.

Mr Mugabe will retain his title of president, remain in control of the army and chair cabinet meetings.

Mr Tsvangirai will be called prime minister and will have control of the police force which up until two months ago terrorised his supporters.

There will be 31 cabinet portfolios to allow to liberal distribution of the spoils of power.

‘The European Commission of course welcomes this significant step forward,’ said John Clancy, commission spokesman on humanitarian aid and development issues.